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Cupcakes 2: Life of Death/Transcript
'SCENE 01 House: Zombie Apocalypse Time (ZAT)' Sniper: Secure the Building. Commando: We’ve scoured every inch of “The Carousel Boutique” sir, except this room. Rarity: Safety’s on, dipshit. craz3: Hey, drama queen. Was Twilight Sparkle here? Sniper: Miss Rarity! Pinkamena Diane Pie is the leader of ZAT, and the most dangerous killer since she killed craz3’s girlfriend. Sniper: Fucking waste of time, mare’s a vegetable. craz3: Back off! Rarity: All she said was “Votre ami est toujours là.” That’s French for “Your friend is always here”, Dipshit. Rainbow(vision)(echo fx): No Pinkie! NO! NO! Screams PLEASE STOP! PLEASE, PLEASE STOP! crying Rarity: You boys better get your shit together…they’re gonna attack. Sniper: If you have information about a threat to the citizens of Ponyville, you gotta tell us. Rarity: Turn the camera on. Rarity: Your friend Twilight, she was doing okay in Ponyville, fucking things showed up… Spike: ooohhhh… Twilight: Don’t worry, Spike. I’ll find something that’ll cure you. Twilight: Hello? Is anyone in? Hellooooo? Pinkie? Twilight: Oh thank Equestria you're open! I need a special order made! Pinkie: Okay Twilight. What might that be? Twilight: I need you to make one portion of medical Purplepuff Pie for Spike! He is really ill! Pinkie: Okay Twilight, I will go downstairs and get the ingredients, but remember; don't come down! I will be back in a jiffy. Twilight: ...Pinkie? Can you please...you know...hurry up? Please? Pinkie: Twilight, Twilight, Twilight. I told you to stay upstairs didn't I? Hahahahaha...... 'SCENE 02 Apocalypse Begins' Twilight: PINKIE? WHATS GOING ON?! Pinkie pie: Ah your awake now we can get started! Twilight: Pinkie what’s happening?! What happen to my horn?! Pinkie: SILLY! I have to tie you up because we are going to try something different! I have to cut your horn so you can’t do any magic! Twilight: pinkie….why are you alone in the dark? Pinkie pie: oh I’m not alone in the dark. Twilight: PINKIE?! WHAT HAPPEN TO RAINBOW DASH?! WHATS HAPPENING?!?!!? Pinkie pie: there going to be fine and dashie is fine to. Look I’m going to try to do this thing to bring my friends back and you to. You are going to have lots of fun! Twilight: pinkie…you did this? Pinkie pie: Of course I did silly! don't tell anypony wait no you won’t because you’ll be with me forever! Twilight: but your my friend we did fun things. Pinkie pie: we are friends and we are doing fun stuff! Now it’s time to begin. grabs the knife and stabs twilight’s stomach Twilight: (Screams on pain) Pinkie pie: I’ll just put this here and DONE! Pinkie pie: Well your friends can call me Pinkamena but now you can call me Zombie Die! 'SCENE 03 House: Zombie Apocalypse Time (ZAT)' Rarity: That’s how it started. Your best friends killed by that psychopath, the PIA wants payback…even if it takes decades. The PIA, back then…they were uh…big fishes in a small pond… Pinkie made her cake by running SugarCube Corner on her own. It was a hand-me-down, the PIA smoked her Rock Family. Old PDP is pretty pissed at Canterlot. While we’re fucking around doing our jobs, the Applousians and Cloudsdalers get real cozy. Now the ponititians, they want you to think this is about ideology. That’s a lot of horseshit. Give me your knife. Rare Killing Utensils. The whole fucking world runs on that shit. Who controls all of it? Cloudsdale. So while Castle Canterlot’s kissing Cloudsdale’s ass… “Zombie Die”? My ass! Pinkamena Diane fucking Pie! Asshole! I told the UNPC…but they were too busy. See the Drone race had started. Really guys? You’re gonna build an entire military based on a mineral element that is wholly controlled by Cloudsdale? I need a drink. Dipshit, go get me a soda. Get it from Sweetie Bell’s stash, none of that diet crap. After all the dirty shit Ponyville has gotten away with, this time they’re innocent. And no pony fucking believes them. They take out ZAT’s network. Two days later, the Director of the FPI, stabbed to death. Right now, a billion people believe that Pinkie is their savior. Well, guess what boys, she’s not. You’d better take her out pretty fucking quick. Bad shit’s gonna happen. 'SCENE 04 Shades: Zombie Apocalypse Time (ZAT)' Sniper: Well look at that. Zombie’s got a whole private fucking army hidden out there. craz3: Zomponies. Brute forms. Acid Spitters. Sniper: How many followers does ZAT have right now? What, a billion people? craz3: Try two billion, who’ll never believe their leader’s a psychopathic canabal. They think Zombie is their savior. Sniper: They’ve got a hell of a disappointment coming. That’s all I could say. craz3: Time to go see what Zombie has got hidden out there. You ready, Sniper? Sniper: Wide open. Little more than a skeleton crew. Walk in the park, baby. Crosby: Hey what does ZAT mean, exactly? Sniper: Zombie Apocalypse Time. craz3: Sounds like something noble. That’s what Zombie wants her followers to believe. Trust me… it isn’t. Sniper: Vorheese, this is Sniper. Come in. Enemy is preparing to leave location Advise. Adm. Laskey: We need firm intel on their capabilities. You are clear to engage. Sniper: Holy shit. Look at this. craz3: What we saw up top was just a front. Борис: Walls are several meters thick. We’ll lose comms inside. craz3: Update Laskey. Tell him we’re moving in. Sniper: Vorheese, this is Sniper. Confirming sci-tech installation beneath the woods… Requesting immediate clean up and containment unit ti our location. Be advised, we will lose comms as soon as we make our entry. Adm. Laskey: Vorheese confirms. Ground team moving for immediate insertion. Stand by for ETA. craz3: Rarity told us how much wealth Zombie built over he years. She’s been investing it in weapons tech. Sniper: Somebody’s here. Dr. Hooves: Please! Don’t hurt me! Sniper: Okay. Come on out! This lab is linked to a known psychopath. You start talking or I WILL hurt you. Dr. Hooves: My name is Dr. Hooves. I’m a Zombielologist. Sniper: Yeah? And what is, uh… Zombie’s interest in you, buddy? Dr. Hooves: They brought me here to process the Celerium. It’s a new rare killing utensil that will render all existing pony skin tissues obsolete. They’re coming! Get me out of here alive! I’ll give you everything! Sniper: Get the fuck down. Get down! Dr. Hooves: On your go. Dr. Hooves: Follow me. Dr. Hooves: Quantum entanglement. This sword has more processing power than your entire military infrastructure. Rumors around the lab were that Zombie plans to use it as a basis for a massive zombie attack. I heard talk of something called ‘Karma’… It may be the name for the infection weapon. If Zombie uses a Celerium worm to initiate an attack, there will be nothing anypony can do to stop it… I couldn’t stop it. Adm. Laskey: craz3, your team can stand down. craz3: It’s Laskey. Stand down! It’s the extraction team! Boy, aren’t you a sight for sore eyes. Adm. Laskey: I guess we can call this mission accomplished. craz3: Admiral Laskey. Good to see you. Adm. Laskey: You too, craz3. craz3: Whatever Zombie is planning, Celerium is key to it. Adm. Laskey: Well, we finally we got one over on this zombie fucker. Sniper: She’s just a mare, Admiral. She’d like you to think she’s something more… but she ain’t nothin’ but a sad, poor, pitiful excuse for a mare. 'Scene 5 Shadow' Rarity: YOU! Pinkie pie: yes me me me me! Rarity: YOU WON’T GET AWAY WITH THIS! Pinkie pie: Don't you think you have enough magic? Rarity: What? Who are you? Shadow: I’m you. And come to tell you how to stop the apocalypse. Rarity: Really? Shadow: Yes. Rarity: But where is pinkie? Shadow: She went off but I know you can find and stop her just follow me. Rarity: There! Rarity: PINKIE PIE WHERE ARE YOU! Pinkie pie: Ah rarity what a surprise Pinkie pie: Ready to play? 'Scene 6 Beginning Fight' Shadow: WAIT! Stop her! Rarity: STOP YOU FUCKING COCKSHIT! Pinkie pie: What do you want know? Rarity: YOU THINK I’M ALONE DO YOU?! Well I’m not! Boys! Craz3: Were here Rarity! Pinkie pie: NO! Rarity: WHAT NOW JACKASS? Pinkie pie: YOUR ON! 'SCENE 07 ZAT War' Shadow: rarity you know what must be done… Tell craz3 to finish this… Rarity: COMMANDER! FINISH IT! KILL THAT ZOMBIE FUCKER! '}ending 1{' craz3: I’m… so sorry… my love… Dash: huh? What happened? Dash: this is awkward. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL anyway. Rarity: you really don’t want to know it’s a BIG story. Dash: well I an’t got all day bye. Fluttershy: it was weird I’ll just go home. Twilight: well I’ll just go home and cure spike. Rarity: well boys you did a fantastic job pinkie pie maybe dead but I'm sure she'll be fine. Craz3: (It’s over. We won!) What do we do now? Sniper: (For now…) Come follow me. '}ending 2{' craz3: I’m… so sorry… my love… Sniper: no, No, NO, NO! GET A MEDIC! Rarity: Sniper… I… want you to know… I… Love… You… Sniper: Oh, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO! BABE! BAAABBEE! Soldier: Sir, we gotta move! Sniper: GET OFF ME! craz3: Mike, I’m so sorry… Sniper: Yeah… Me too, John… me too… '}ending 3{(DEFAULT)' craz3: I’m… so sorry… my love… Sniper: no, No, NO, NO! GET A MEDIC! Rarity: Sniper… I… want you to know… I… Love… You… Sniper: NO, NO, NO, NO! COMMANDER! WE GOTTA GET HER TO SAFETY! craz3: Them too… I know a place… '}Cupcakes 3: Zombie Warfare Trailer{' craz3(Narrator): The world as we knew it… is gone. How far will we go to bring it all back? Pinkie created a war… only we knew the truth… Sniper(Flashback)(Echo FX): COMMANDER! WE GOTTA GET HER TO SAFETY! craz3(Flashback)(Echo FX): Them too… I know a place… Sniper: GET HER INSIDE! Rarity(Flashback)(Echo FX): Safety’s on, Dipshit. craz3: The safe house is up ahead! Sniper: KEEP MOVING! Dr. Hooves(Flashback)(Echo FX): PLEASE! DON’T HURT ME! Sniper: OUT OF THE FUCKING WAY! GET A DOCTOR! craz3(Flashback)(Echo FX): Try two billion, who’ll never believe their leader’s a psychopathic canabal. Sniper: KEEP PRESSURE ON THAT WOUND! Crosby: I’m trying! Hang in there, my friend. Rarity(Flashback)(Echo FX): COMMANDER! FINISH IT! KILL THAT ZOMBIE FUCKER! Sniper: SHE NEEDS HELP! NOW! Medic: We’re losing her! Charging in 3, 2, 1, CLEAR! 'DELETED SCENE 01: Thankless Job Song' Pinkie pie: we are friends and we are doing fun stuff! Now it’s time to begin. Chorus: Pinkie Pie! Pinkie Pie! Pinkie: It's a thankless job, But somepony's got to do it... Peelin' off the tissue inch-by-inch, Skinnin' off the muscles, too Harvesting the kidneys for the fall Savin' up the livers in the fridge No one ever thanks me when I'm done How self-absorbed ponies can be! With a slice, or a snip, Eenie-meenie-minie-moo... With a cut, and a stitch, Returning organs good as new! It's a thankless job! But somepony's got to do it! (got to do it!) Like a mop! (Like a mop!) And a broom! (And a broom!) mimicking of twilight No one wants a thankless job! Category:Transcripts